Rafa\’s Corner of Nonsense, Part Deux

… where Rafa\’s thoughts see the light of day…

Yes, Céline, a baby burst forth from your poonany: get over it!

I’d like to know why is it that every artist that has a baby suddenly feels that something mystical and magical has occurred, and feel compelled to talk about it obsessively. The “miracle of life” happens countless times a day, every day: I don’t know about you, but I prefer my miracles to occur more sparingly, like someone walking on water, seeing the image of the Virgin on a grilled cheese sandwich, or the Red Sox winning the World Series.

One of the latest such artists (or artistes, as it has previously been explained by my friend César in this post) is the English-as-a-second-language Céline Dion. It seems Céline was impregnated by a man’s seed, and 9 months later, c’est un miracle!, a baby came out of her vagina. She has now written a CD about it (festooning it with a creepy collage of baby pictures), and recently even published a book (demurely titled “Miracle: A Celebration of New Life”) full of pictures of her and the baby in several gag-inducing poses. This, for your enjoyment, is the book’s cover:

Really, Céline: if we all sign an affidavit stating that your baby is the most precious baby in the world, and that its conception and birth were the most miraculous occurrences in the modern world, will you stop writing songs about your baby and force-feeding us pictures of him? If so, I know a lawyer and I’m sure he’d gladly draw up all the necessary papers!

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January 5, 2005 - Posted by | Rant

5 Comments »

  1. What in the name of everything holy is the deal with that green hair on that baby’s head?? The first thing that comes to my mind when I see that is that baby being hatched from one of those eggs in the “Alien” movies. Man, I know Anne Geddes’ specialty is doing baby pictures, and she must know what she’s doing, but common, what’s up with that? It doesn’t make any sense, unless, she, herself is also an artiste, which would mean she’s full of shit. You know what, she gave a baby green hair, while being held by Celine Dion who’s almost in a fetal position herself, so screw it, she *is* full of shit.

    Concerning Celine, this cover indicates to me that we are really screwed now. Forget the affidavit dude, nothing will stop her now. It’s not about her baby anymore. She is the symbol, nay, she IS maternity itself.

    Better ignore her dude, because it’s only going to get worse. Celine’s baby was the product of in-vitro fertilization, and there is a second embryo stored waiting for her, at least according to this article from 5 years ago. So forget it, it will be all about babies from now until she dies. I’m not watching anymore dude, it is unhealthy. Damn, is it just me, or is that cover really creepy? 😛

    Comment by Cesar | January 6, 2005 | Reply

  2. OH holy mother Mary of God! That post made me laugh and water come out of my nose and 94% FF Kettle Corn come out of my mouth b/c of the GAFFAW factor.

    A friend of Dave’s is a friend of mine! Laurie

    Comment by Laurie | January 19, 2005 | Reply

  3. Hi Laurie! Welcome to my corner of nonsense. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the post, although I’m sorry food had to be lost in the process, hehe. Feel free to come back once in a while and check out what’s been nagging at me lately! 🙂

    Comment by Rafa | January 20, 2005 | Reply

  4. YEAH! CELEBRATION SOMETHING LIKE BABY IS COMEPLITLY STUPID!?!??
    MUCH MORE INTERESTING IS TO SING ABOUTH MONEY, “GANGSTA PARADISE” OR SOMETHING SO ….. COOL LIKE THAT! YEAH.
    TELL ME… WHY AMEERICAN NATION (GENERALY) IS SO STUPID NATION, SO BORING, DIRTY AND SO UNFIXIBLE?!?!?!?
    GREETHINGS FROM EUROPE!!!

    Comment by Anonymous | November 20, 2005 | Reply

  5. Okaaaaaaay….

    Comment by Rafa | November 20, 2005 | Reply


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