Rafa\’s Corner of Nonsense, Part Deux

… where Rafa\’s thoughts see the light of day…

If the military ever sells this shit, I’m buying it!

In keeping with the gay theme of my previous post, I wanted to comment on the following unintentionally hilarious report by CNN mentioning that the US military has rejected a project to develop an aphrodisiac to “spur homosexual activity among enemy troops” (and sadly enough, I didn’t even need to make that up). I would call this weapon “the Gay Bomb,” partly because I find it very à propos and also because I don’t usually get to just coin terms and darn it, it’s my blog, so I’m gonna do it! 🙂

The report goes on to state that Lt. Col. Barry Venable of the Army, a Defense Department spokesman, said: “This suggestion arose essentially from a brainstorming session, and it was rejected out of hand.” Hey, not so fast, Mr. Spokesman! Wait just a tick! Can you imagine the great marketing potential this has?!

I can envision the development of something called “G4Y SPR4Y” (hey, it rhymes, so it must be good!), which can be packaged in small aerosol cans like mace. I can imagine the following exchange:

Gay Guy: [to handsome Straight Guy] Hey, sailor!
Straight Guy: Err… I’m not gay, dude!
Gay Guy: Well, you will be for the next three hours! [sprays Straight Guy in the face] Now, here’s your Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt and a pillow to bite on: let’s go!

I’m sorry, but if they ever sell this, I’m buying it! 😉

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January 22, 2005 - Posted by | Rafa PSA

2 Comments »

  1. Let me know where I can get a few cases!!! I’ve got a list of who it’s gonna be used on.

    Comment by DAVE | January 30, 2005 | Reply

  2. Ooh, just imagine the ‘terrorist’ possibilities! ‘Hey, Pat Robertson, so gay people are abominations, huh? Well, guess what…’ {spritz!} ‘Excuse me, members of the Baptist leadership conference, we’d like to direct your attention to that crop duster about to fly over this stadium…’ Gee, is it something we could put in the drinking water? 😉

    Comment by Dean089 | February 2, 2005 | Reply


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