If the military ever sells this shit, I’m buying it!

In keeping with the gay theme of my previous post, I wanted to comment on the following unintentionally hilarious report by CNN mentioning that the US military has rejected a project to develop an aphrodisiac to “spur homosexual activity among enemy troops” (and sadly enough, I didn’t even need to make that up). I would call this weapon “the Gay Bomb,” partly because I find it very à propos and also because I don’t usually get to just coin terms and darn it, it’s my blog, so I’m gonna do it! 🙂

The report goes on to state that Lt. Col. Barry Venable of the Army, a Defense Department spokesman, said: “This suggestion arose essentially from a brainstorming session, and it was rejected out of hand.” Hey, not so fast, Mr. Spokesman! Wait just a tick! Can you imagine the great marketing potential this has?!

I can envision the development of something called “G4Y SPR4Y” (hey, it rhymes, so it must be good!), which can be packaged in small aerosol cans like mace. I can imagine the following exchange:

Gay Guy: [to handsome Straight Guy] Hey, sailor!
Straight Guy: Err… I’m not gay, dude!
Gay Guy: Well, you will be for the next three hours! [sprays Straight Guy in the face] Now, here’s your Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt and a pillow to bite on: let’s go!

I’m sorry, but if they ever sell this, I’m buying it! 😉

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