Possibly the crappiest theme song ever: “Cleopatra 2525”!

Oh my God… You have not heard a crappy theme song until you’ve heard the one for “Cleopatra 2525,” which I link here for your listening pleasure. I cannot do it justice, so please listen to it yourself before proceeding. Go on: I’ll wait.

Welcome back. 🙂 Ok, these are the lyrics of the song, as I hear them, transcribed as phonetically as I can (feel free to follow along!):

[Narratrix]
Five hundred years into the future
She will enter a world where machines rule the Earth
Mankind has been driven underground
And Cleopatra is about to discover
There’s no place like home

[Songstress]
In the yeeh, twenny-figh twenny-figh
There women with the will to soobigh
Fighting fo’ a brand new day
Nothin’ gonna get in they way

In the yeeh, twenny-figh twenny-figh
Three women kee’ hope aligh
Joinin’ forces to reclaim the Earr-ah
Lookin’ ahead-ah to humankind’s rebirr

It’s as though the theme song is sung by Buckwheat’s lounge singer sister.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the show, here is its premise according to IMDB:

An exotic dancer, cryogenically frozen in the year 2001, is accidentaly thawed out in 2525 by two female warriors who are fighting against evil robots which have taken over the world. The three join forces and try to escape the underground caverns to which humanity has been banished, meeting up with all sorts of strange creatures along the way.

And no, I only wish I were making that up… if I could make up shit that good, apparently I’d have a job as a TV writer!

Anyhoo, I figure this would be a nice topic: can you come up with other shows with really crappy/cheesy theme songs, and/or crappy/cheesy plots? Let’s hear ’em, folks! 🙂